Forgetting to Remember
by Weasley's Revenge
Summary: This isn't allowed to happen. He should know better. She can take care of herself. But he forgets that, and now he can't remember anything. Tiva AU


**AN: ** I'm participating in the Write the Wrong challenge and this is my entry. AU set just after the season 7 premier.

**Forgetting to Remember**

This can't be happening. This is not allowed to be happening. They are together. They are happy. He's not allowed to die for her. He knows he must protect himself.

Everything is in slow motion. He tells her to run and pushes her through the door. She can hear the beeping get louder. He slams the door shut. He's still inside when it detonates a millisecond later--protecting her. She can feel the heat of the blast like Hell fire. Debris rains around her and she tries her best to protect herself. The shockwave resounds deeply in her chest, and she is out cold. Her last thought is, _Dear God not him_.

She wakes up in a hospital. Her body feels oddly weightless. It's not an uncomfortable feeling, and she is tempted by the urge to continue into a feeling-less sleep until she remembers. Her eyes burst open as she powers through the haze. Sound returns to her. A machine is beeping very close to her. Too loud and too fast, she flinches and her mind is flooded with the horror she just lived through. The machine starts to beep even faster, and she tries to fight off the urge to panic. A doctor enters the room and tries to calm her, "Miss David, Miss David you are all right. You're at Bethesda Naval hospital, I'm doctor Miles," he shines a light in her eyes.

"Tony?" it takes her some time to find her voice, and she asks the question that forced her awake.

The doctor's face drops for a second and then he tries to brighten his tone, "You-you remember?"

"Of course I remember. How could I forget." her voice is hoarse and dry as she takes her anger out on the poor doctor. "How is he! How is the stupid, asinine, loving, caring, overprotective," she starts to cry. Doctor Miles is at a loss for words as he stares at the blubbering woman. One of the nurses rushes in and tries to console her.

"It's okay honey, you'll be fine, we have some people here to see you."

"No Shelby, she asked about her partner, Agent DiNozzo," the doctor finds his voice again.

"So tell her about him. It's fine sweetie he's new at this," she procured a tissue and handed it to Ziva.

"Agent DiNozzo," he said through gritted teeth, "room 243."

"She asked so tell her, _Doctor_," the nurse was not letting up and Ziva felt like giving her an applause.

"He's still in a coma M'am."

"You mean he's not dead?" she was so happy in that moment that the weight of his words escaped her.

"You thought he was dead?"

"Yes the blast was so forceful…"her voice fades off. "I must see him." There is no request in her voice and he still tries to deny her.

"I do not advise that. It's been seven days and he has extensive injuries," she makes to get up and is immediately immobilized by piercing pain. She realizes that she must have at least one broken rib—it feels more like two. "Please M'am don't move. You have three broken ribs, a fractured radius, and your left fibula is broken in two places."

"Do not call me M'am," her voice is a feral growl. She's mad because he is alive. Gloriously, wonderfully alive and she can't see him because a stupid doctor thinks she's too delicate. "He is not just my partner, he is my fiancé. I need to see him."

"I understand that, but at the current moment—"

"You do not understand, because if you did you would not be standing there trying to convince me that I can not see him," she is scaring him and she can tell, but she is beyond caring about trivial things like that.

"I'll see what I can do," he storms out in a huff, and the kind nurse, Shelby, offers her a nice shrug before going to leave the room.

As she is in the doorway, she turns, "Do you want me to send in the people here for you?" Ziva manages a nod.

Gibbs is the first person she sees. He is holding something small and shiny. She immediately recognizes is as her engagement ring and looks at her finger surprised she hadn't noticed its absence earlier. He hands it to her silently and she bestows it to its rightful place on her finger. "Had me scared for a while, Ziver." It is all that needs to be said. Next is Abby who throws herself at Ziva and then hesitates because she has heard the extent of her injuries. Jenny, Ducky, and McGee filter in next. Each of them keeping their distance and remaining silent.

"How is Tony?" She asks the only question that has plagued her thoughts since the doctor stone-walled her. They all look uncomfortable and Gibbs is the only one to answer her.

"He's been better, Ziva," she winces because for Gibbs to admit that the situation is bad means that it is well and truly fucked-up.

"How bad?"

"He hasn't woken up yet, but the neurologist is almost positive that he'll have brain damage."

"Permanent?"

"It's too early to tell," she nods.

"They don't want to let me see him," she says hoping that the formidable team leader has more pull in these matters than she does.

He looks uncomfortable, "He's in really bad shape, Z. I don't blame them."

"Gibbs! You of all people should know what I am going through! I need to see him. Now."

"Later, he's not going anywhere and neither are you," she goes to interrupt him again, "Ziva, I know I really do, but neither of you are in any shape to move."

"He was stupid you know? Trying to protect me. He closed the door so that I would be safer," she starts to cry again because he should have known better.

This time it is Jenny that moves to comfort her, "Jethro's the same way. It only makes sense that Tony would pick up that trait after so many years. He really loves you Ziva."

"But Tony should know damn it! He should know that I don't need protecting! He should know that I can take care of myself…" her voice fades off because it takes too much energy to be angry.

"Ziva he's strong. He'll be okay," Jenny tries to comfort her Israeli friend, but it doesn't work nearly well enough.

Six Days

It has been six days since she woke in the hospital. Six of the longest days in her life. She is in a wheelchair because she can't walk. He is still in a coma. He has been in a coma for thirteen days.

It is too long, and with each passing day she becomes more worried that he will never wake-up. As soon as they let her in a wheelchair for the day, she goes straight to him. She has been at his bedside every hour of the day they let her.

Something about today feels different though. She can see his hand twitch and then a muscle in his face jerks. Suddenly his eyes are wide open. She calls for a doctor and stares at him speechless. He is awake; he is alive. She starts to cry again and briefly wonders if there is something in the medication they're giving her because she never cries, and has done a lot of crying in the last six days.

The doctors start to check him, "Mr. DiNozzo, I am Dr. Fisher. You are in Bethesda Naval Hospital. We are here to help. Do you want the breathing tube out?" She likes Dr. Fisher more than Dr. Miles—he is kinder and more to the point. He shakes his head vigorously and they remove the tube. Then he looks at her. "Who are you?" he asks, and she thinks he's joking.

"Very funny, Tony, you're an idiot. Why did you try to save me? You should know better," she smiles at him.

"Who are you? I don't know you," her face falls because even Tony knows when a joke has gone too far.

"You don't…Tony it's me. It's Ziva. How can you not…" she is in shock. Of all the scenarios that played out in her head, when she was waiting this was not one of them.

The doctor interrupts her, "Mr. DiNozzo, do you know what year it is?"

"Yeah, 2000, I just finished working a case in Baltimore with NCIS, and…Agent Gibbs just offered me a job." He smiles remembering the gruff agent he had just met.

"No, Tony, it's 2008. You've been with Gibbs for eight years," his face falls—eight years is a long time to forget. "Don't you remember at all? Kate, Jeanne, me."

"Who?"

"Kate your partner who died! Jeanne the woman you fell in love with! And me! Me the person you trekked across a desert to save! The woman you proposed to four months ago!" Her anger isn't justified, but it feels too good for her to care.

"Agent David, please don't get angry. Memory loss is to be expected, and your anger won't do anything to help him remember," the doctor interrupts her again.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away. May I make a phone call?" She has only one option now. Time to call in the big guns.

"Of course, there's a phone on the wall there." She wheels over to the wall and grabs the phone dialing the familiar number.

"Gibbs," the gruff voice answers.

"Gibbs, Tony is awake, but he's…having some problems with memory loss."

"How bad is it Ziva?"

"He thinks it's 2000, and that you two just finished working a case in Baltimore."

"I'll be down." He hung up the phone and she turned back to Tony and the doctor.

"Agent Gibbs is on his way."

Tony nods, "Is all of it true? All that stuff you told me?"

"Every word."

He nod again lost in his own thoughts, "I want to remember, I just. It's not there."

"I'll be in the hall." Her thoughts are immediately catapulted back to the time four years ago when Gibbs had lost his memory. The only thing that had brought it back was head-slapping her. They can't head-slap him though. It's the trauma that made **him lose his memory. She wonders if he'll ever be the same, and if she can stand him** not knowing her. The question answers itself—she will stand by him because she loves _him_ past, present, future.

Three Months

It has been three months. He still doesn't remember her. He knows her now, but none of the memories are his own. She has told him all of the stories, and visits him every day, but it is not the same as what they had before.

She can walk with the help of crutches and has been assigned desk work. He's still in the hospital. The doctors are giving him another month until they let him leave—still worried about the severity of his trauma.

His memory comes back little by little. One day she jokes that it's like _50 First Dates_ and he retorts that he doesn't forget her every day.

It brings back a memory of Kate. He took her to see that movie three months before she died. The memory starts a chain reaction.

He remembers Kate's death; meeting Ziva; Ari; Paula Cassidy; going undercover; Jeanne; Gibbs coma; Kort; Michael; going to save Ziva; proposing. He remembers realizing there is a bomb, pushing her through the door and closing it, thinking _Dear God not her._ He gasps because suddenly it makes sense why this wonderful caring woman stuck by him. She loves him, and he loves her.

"I remember," his voice cuts off her explanation of the time they went to the Smithsonian—her first investigation. His statement is simple and quick. "Oh, Ziva, I remember." He kisses her, and she is stunned. He remembers. It worked, and he remembers.

**AN: **I hope that it was worth the read. Please leave a review. :)


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